The Disadvantage
by I Am Spock
Summary: After turning down the offer to attend the Vulcan Science Academy, Spock spends his last few days with his mother before leaving for Starfleet. Amanda offers advice to her 'disadvantage' son. Set before the events of the movie.


AN: I wrote this story to fill in the 'gaps' between when Spock declined the offer to join the Vulcan Science Academy and when he left for Starfleet.

Not to mention to establish Spock as a mamma's boy. Lol

Enjoy!

**The Disadvantage **

_You have surpassed the expectations of your instructors. Your final record is flawless, with one exception; I see that you have applied to Starfleet as well. _

_It was logical to cultivate multiple options._

_Logical, but unnecessary. You are hereby accepted into the Vulcan Science Academy. It is truly remarkable Spock that you have achieved so much despite your disadvantage. _

_If you would clarify minster, to what disadvantage are you referring? _

_Your human mother. _

_Council, ministers, I must decline. _

_No Vulcan has ever decline admission to this academy. _

_Well as I am, half-human your record remains untarnished. _

_Why did you come before this council? Was it to satisfy your emotional need to rebel?_

_The only emotion I wish to convey is gratitude. Thank you ministers for your consideration. Live long and prosper. _

Spock violently awoke from the dream and stared at the wall covered with Vulcan daggers; family heirlooms his grandfather had given him as a child. It was three days before he was to leave for Starfleet.

Wearing only a small black robe, Spock got out of bed, walked to the balcony and looked out at the vastness of the Vulcan desert in the distance. He would miss his home greatly, but more importantly, he would miss his mother.

However, it was either leave or stay to be driven insane by the insults.

His human heritage was a disadvantage on Vulcan, a place where prejudice against humans was still very prevalent. Spock couldn't understand how his mother was able to handle the pressures of being a 'flawed illogical human' among such 'logical' non-humans.

Spock could no longer take the pressure.

He could no longer take the insults.

He could no longer take the fights.

He could no longer keep defending himself and his mother.

He had to go to a place where he can be accepted for what he was and not for what others wanted him to be. Starfleet was that place.

That was why he turned down the offer to enroll in the Vulcan Science Academy. And he knew it was going to cause tension between him and his father.

Sarek sat there wallowing in shame as his son made history as the first Vulcan to turn down the offer to enroll in the academy. Since that day, Sarek avoided his son and Spock was left to talk to the only person who understood him.

His mother.

(Later that day)

Amanda and Spock were outside in the greenhouse Sarek had built for her. She loved gardening, but Vulcan's desert like atmosphere made that nearly impossible. The greenhouse was Amanda's sanctuary from the cruel judgmental eyes of Vulcan society.

"Well, you will be leaving in a few days. How do you feel?" Amanda asked her son.

"I don't feel anything, mother."

"I ask because you have kept tight lipped since you rejected the offer. I want to know why. You were so devoted to getting into the academy."

Spock kept watering the roses.

"Some of these flowers need pruning and a better quality fertilizer. Perhaps, I can see if I can purchase some the next time I am in the city."

Amanda put her hands on her hips.

"I hate it when you avoid my question."

"Starfleet has opportunities that the academy doesn't have." Spock finished watering the roses and began to prepare a pot for the oleanders Amanda had imported.

Amanda looked at her handsome son with pity. She loved him greatly and it pained her to see him so…confused. Of course, this feeling of confusion was hidden under a thick Vulcan façade. Spock always was out of place and to other Vulcans he was an eyesore. Amanda remembered Spock as a child coming home with bruises from fighting the other children.

_Spock! What happened? Your clothes are dirty and your face…._

_There is nothing to inquire about mother. I am fine. _

_Was it T'lau and the others? Spock! Answer me!_

_Yes, they seem to derive enjoyment from insulting me. _

_Did you fight them?_

_I am ashamed to say, I did. _

As his mother, Amanda did everything she could to protect her son. However, every attempt she made from talking to the parents of her tormentors, to encouraging Spock to stand up for himself, was thwarted by Sarek who believe Spock needed to deal with such matters himself.

"I finished making the pot for the oleanders. I do believe this soil is the most logical for healthy growth." Spock took another pot and began to prepare it for the Cardassian roses.

"I just don't get it Spock. The Vulcan Science Academy has more opportunities and is more prestigious than Starfleet. Why break tradition? What happened?"

Spock hated this interrogation.

"I think you should try to replant the Cardassian roses separately from the other plants. They are taking over."

"Stop trying to avoid the question."

"There is nothing to avoid. I told you why." Spock handed his mother the hoe and put on his gardening gloves to prepare to plant the poisonous Cardassian roses.

Amanda put the hoe down and walked up to Spock.

Spock kept his attention focus on the Cardassian roses. The roses were so valuable that only those with the wealth and resources could purchase them. However, despite their beauty they are actually illegal within the federation due to being one of the most poisonous plants in existence. The plant contains toxic venom that causes death by what Vulcans called a 'blood freeze,' when the blood becomes so filled with clots it is unable to flow.

The Cardassian people have a history of using the roses as a means of biological warfare.

Spock thought it was ironic that such a rose praised for its unique beauty would be also feared and condemned for its evil uses.

How his mother managed to get the roses to Vulcan was a secret Spock dared not to inquire about.

Amanda loved the roses and convinced Sarek that having them in her garden was…logical. She loved them for another reason; however, the roses reminded her of the Vulcan people. Of Spock.

Her son was a handsome man with a cool outwards demeanor, but with a barbaric savagery that secretly consumed him.

She placed her hand on her son's shoulders.

"I know you didn't enter the school because of what the minister said about me."

Spock put down the roses.

"He said that having you as my mother was a disadvantage."

Amanda bit her lip. She knew this minster to be the father of one of Spock's childhood tormentors, T'lau.

"Oh, my son. You should not have let that got to you." Amanda picked up the gloves next to Spock's hand and put them on. Taking a small Cardassian rose, she placed it on her cheek.

"Mother, you should not do that. Cardassian roses…."

"They are only dangerous if they get into your bloodstream and I have no intention of eating them." Amanda removed the rose from her check to reveal a red spot, a result of skin irritation.

"The rose has made your cheek red." Spock pointed out unnecessarily.

"Yes, I know. I like the feeling on my cheek. It tingles." Amanda giggled and handed Spock the rose.

"I want to leave Vulcan for a while." Spock proceeded to plant the roses. Spock had worked hard for years exceeding the expectations of his teachers, of his parents and of other Vulcans who watched with undying obsession in the hopes he would failed. He did this with the hope that eventually others will come to accept him as a Vulcan and forget his human heritage.

Nevertheless, that did not happen.

The harder he worked, the more the other Vulcans made sure to remind him that he was only half, thus inferior.

"Earth is a different world from Vulcan. Humans are full of illogical emotions, but I think that you will find what you are looking for there." Spock turned to her and raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean?"

"I know you given this some thought. I mean you haven't been to Earth since you were a child. But I do think that humans will accept you as a Vulcan, unlike your own people."

"Why?"

"Because when they see you, they will not see themselves. Yes, you are half-human, but you are Vulcan in every way that matters. I raised you here. So the humans aren't going to care that you are only half, they will see you as completely Vulcan."

Spock finished potting the roses.

It was ironic that his acceptance would come from humans rather than his own people.

"Why I can't get the same treatment here?"

Amada shook her head.

"Oh my son, eventually things will change and you will come back to Vulcan glorious. Those who hated you will embrace you and those that doubted your Vulcan loyalty will regret it."

Spock stared at his mother with human curiosity. She made it seem like he would return as a sultan reclaiming his throne, but then again his mother always had a way with words.

"Let's take a break. You can help me in the kitchen." Amanda kissed her son on the cheek and took off her gloves.

"Mother, you know I am not a very good cook."

"I need your help and besides this will give us time to talk some more."

"What else do we need to talk about?"

Amanda smiled.

"Girls, of course!"

(Kitchen)

Amanda was working in the kitchen preparing the Vulcan soup while Spock was given the dull task of slicing vegetables.

"You remember you use to love working with me in the kitchen. You were always hanging around when you weren't off exploring in the wilderness. I swear you did that so much, I thought something was wrong."

"Your forget that I had to prepare for the Kahs-wan ritual."

Amanda stirred the pot vigorously, "I hate that ritual! I don't understand why Vulcan children must undertake such a thing. I know of two children who didn't even survive it!"

Spock put the vegetables into the soup.

"It is to test our strength and endurance. I survived so it should no longer matter."

"Yes, I know. It's just that you were gone for so long and now you are leaving me again. I am going to miss you greatly, but I know you will forget all about me."

"I don't plan on letting my duties at Starfleet get in the way of me remembering you."

Amanda wanted to laugh. Vulcans can be very funny.

"I don't think you get it. You are going to meet girls! There are many human women who would love to have you!"

Spock faced flushed green.

Amanda stirred the soup.

"Let me add these herbs." She put the powerfully scent herbs in the soup. "I mean that if you get involved with any of them you are going to have to be careful. Vulcan males are stronger…."

"Mother! I don't wish to talk about this!" The loudness of Spock's voice startled Amanda.

"I don't care if you don't want to talk about it. We must! You need to prepare yourself for what is going to happen on earth, when it comes to sex my son…you are at a disadvantage."

"I don't plan on engaging in any sexual activities of any kind. I put my work before all else."

Amanda held back a laugh. Sarek had said the same thing and yet he took her to his bed numerous of times. Vulcans did not like to admit it, but they engaged in and enjoyed sex as much as humans do.

"You say that now because I am your mother and you don't want to say anything to offend me. However, I was young once and know that young girls will throw themselves at you."

The image of young women throwing themselves at him confused Spock, but he figured it was just another metaphor of his mother's.

"I don't know what will happen. Ever since T'Pring…"

Amanda rolled her eyes. She hated T'Pring ever since she invoked koon-ut-kal-if-fee and left Spock for Stonn.

"Forget her! All I am saying is that you need to be aware of human women and their sexual needs and don't forget that Pon Farr is coming in two years."

Spock hated these mother- son conversations. At least his father didn't embarrass him.

"I know…"

"Okay…so you know that if you don't find someone to mate with or find a way to break the plak tow you will…"

"Die. Yes, mother I am aware."

"I only say this because it will be your first Pon Farr and you won't be here. I hate that you are leaving without a mate as it might prove difficult to satisfy the Pon Farr on Earth."

Spock pointed to the pot.

Amanda turned to see the pot over flowing and turned the heat off. Taking a spoon, she dipped it in the soup for a taste.

"It's ready!"

Mother and son sat down to a small, but delicious meal of Vulcan soup. It took some time for Amanda to like the overpowering herbs Sarek introduced to her, but eventually added them in every meal she made.

Amanda watched as Spock ate every drop of soup and she remembered the day when she told Sarek she was pregnant.

_Sarek. Something wonderful has happen. _

_Wonderful? I do not understand this word. _

_I am pregnant! _

_You are with child?_

_Yes. Isn't it wonderful? I can't believe it. _

_I can believe it. I have been trying to impregnate you for some time. _

_We are going to have a baby!_

_Of course, a child is the end result of a successful pregnancy. _

Amanda stopped dreaming. She remembered how very Vulcan Sarek's response was to her pregnancy.

"Mother…are you alright?" Spock noticed his mother daydreaming as was common to her race.

"It's nothing….. just thinking."

Spock raised an eyebrow.

"Thank you for dinner."

"I love cooking for you Spock. I wish your father was here, but he won't be back until long after you are gone."

Spock lowered his head.

"I know you wanted to talk to him and trust me, eventually he will come around."

Spock nodded.

Spock helped his mother clean the dishes. When it was done, Amanda noticed how dark it was outside.

"I guess I won't finish my gardening until tomorrow."

"Good night mother."

"Good night son."

(Three days later)

It was all too soon; Spock was preparing to leave Vulcan and his mother to live on Earth. Amanda had done her best to teach Spock about human cultures and human behavior, within a Vulcan context of course.

Spock wanted his mother to say at home and not follow him to the shuttle station. He did not want her emotional response to embarrass him in the front of the other Vulcans.

But Amanda would hear none of it.

She went with him to the shuttle station.

As they waited for the shuttle, Amanda noticed the stares they were getting from the other Vulcans.

"You would think by now they would get use to us, but they haven't."

"Eventually, they will. Remember you said that I will return glorious."

Amanda loved the subtle humor in her son's voice. "Oh, yes you will. You know Spock the only Vulcan to serve long term on a human ship was T'Pol."

"Yes, I know about her. No doubt there will be comparisons between T'Pol and myself."

"Of course. Like I said, you go to Starfleet and be the best officer in the history of the fleet. Then come back to me and prove these Vulcans wrong."

Spock could hear his mother's resentment at being treated like an outsider, and understood that her hopes of being accepted in Vulcan society depended on Spock being able to make it in human society.

To him it was illogical.

When the shuttle was announced for Earth, Amanda's eyes welled up with tears.

Spock wasn't sure what to do.

"I am not going to embarrass you," she smiled. "Go and remember what we talked about."

The other Vulcans stared at the two, but Amanda didn't care, her baby was leaving her and she gave Spock a massive bear hug. One he hadn't had since he was a child.

Any other Vulcan would have been embarrassed, but not Spock. He loved his mother and while he was unable to say it verbally, he could show it physically.

He hugged her back.

Spock boarded the shuttle and watched as his mother became a distant speck in the window.

Turning around he leaned back in his chair and thought of Earth.

And the other disadvantages it will bring.

An: Like? I know lots of fluff, but you had to think a conversation like this happened before Spock left for Earth. Read and review.


End file.
